


life would be (a mistake)

by SufferHope_GracelessHeart



Category: Arrow (TV 2012)
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2014-04-10
Updated: 2014-04-17
Packaged: 2018-01-18 22:14:07
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 4
Words: 2,842
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1444747
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/SufferHope_GracelessHeart/pseuds/SufferHope_GracelessHeart
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Without music, life would be a mistake - a collection of songfic promtps from Tumblr.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Words Unspoken (Angels by xx)

**Author's Note:**

  * For [effie214](https://archiveofourown.org/users/effie214/gifts).



> All of these beautiful prompts came from Effie214 who deserves almost all the credit for the work they produced.

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Sometimes words show you what you need to know, sometimes they just get in the way.

Felicity Smoak was not in love with Oliver Queen. It was something more than that. Something bigger than that. If she were just in love, her heart would have been broken when he and Sara found each other again. Instead it was filled with a bittersweet happiness that someone could reflect a little light into the shadows that rested inside of his heart. If Felicity Smoak loved Oliver Queen, a part of her would have been happy when he and Sara found themselves unable to continue being friends and being lovers. Instead, she was saddened that Oliver was once again alone, an island unto himself or as much as she and Diggle would let him be.

In the wake of losing Sara, Oliver was surprisingly more open as if she had unlocked a door inside of him that he just couldn’t quite close again. Felicity saw things he didn’t mean her to, like he only use the mu re zhuang dummy when his anger was so violent he couldn’t risk sparring with Diggle. Or that he had a habit of pressing his thumb and forefinger together like the drawing of an imaginary arrow whenever he felt something he couldn’t control. It was an involuntary action; it happened when he was overjoyed or overwhelmed, stressed or delighted, but mostly when he wanted his defenses up, but knew they’d do him no good.

The thing that she’d noticed most lately was the most perplexing. She’d look to him in secret to sneak a glance or just before she was going to give him information that he needed and he’d already be looking at her, with a look in his eyes that she couldn’t, wouldn’t identify. She knew all of Oliver Queen’s looks and glances and this was one she’d never seen before and it unsettled something deep inside her, something she couldn’t put a name to. Every day she was learning things about him that no one else saw, but this, this seemed so huge, so encompassing that even brave, bright Felicity Smoak pulled back from it. It didn’t stop Oliver’s touches to her shoulder, or grasps of her hand. It didn’t stop his new way of calming her rambles, a warm hand to the back of her neck, so paradoxically gentle and strong that all she could do was lean in to the heat of his hand. And that look in his eyes grew stronger and warmer and fiercer every moment, every day, until everything came to a head one night in the Foundry.

Felicity was at her station compiling a new program to correlate hot spots of crime in the Glades. She could feel Oliver walk up behind her for once, but didn’t turn around. She was well aware he knew she could feel his presence because her typing slowed to a crawl. She could feel the heat of his body behind her like the most beautiful furnace that ever graced the planet and then she felt his touch. A warm hand to the back of her neck, thumb grazing her cheek, turning her chair around as he slowly pulled her up to stand next to him, close to him. Less than an inch away, the space meant for lovers.

“Felicity,” he rumbled, almost close enough for her to feel the vibrations against her chest. “You wear bright blue polish on the days you need to feel strong.” Oliver held up one of her hands with free one. “And you think I don’t notice but your toenails are almost always dark green and every time I see them my heart stutters a little. I miss the curls in your hair, but you wear it straight because it makes you feel more confident, but you put in a ponytail when you’re feeling nostalgic for your I.T. days.” He said pulling the ends of her hair gently

 “And you love cutting me down to size because you worry that being the Arrow and Oliver Queen may be too much power for one person and you won’t let it destroy me. I _see_ you Felicity Meghan Smoak. And if anyone else saw you like I do, they would be as in love with you as I am. And you know what else?”

He engulfed her face with both of his hands, cradling her gently, brushing his thumbs along her eyes, her forehead, her cheeks. ” _You see me._ The good, the bad, the stubborn, the oblivious and the slow path it took for me to be brave enough to face you like this. Bullets and guns have nothing on you, my Felicity.  And I know that the end is unknown, for both of us, for what we do, but I think I’m ready, as long as you are with me, I think I could conquer the world.”

Oliver kissed her gently, a simple laying of his lips on hers, that became deeper as if he couldn’t control himself now that he’d let himself step over this line he had drawn. When he finally pulled away, he spoke softly. “I never thought I’d have to say this, but this is where you talk now, Felicity.”

“I thought that every day, I learned more about you, the best things about you and the worst. I knew you could infuriate me and make me laugh and surprise me and aggravate me to no end,” she said as he chuckled at her. “But I never in a million years, thought that you could make me so happy, so free, so… I don’t even have words for you, Oliver Queen and I have words for everything. That’s what you are to me. Words unspoken. Filled with joy and love and happiness and feelings that have no way to describe them. I am speechless in the very best way. And no making fun of that,” she chastised him as she kissed him, whispering “But maybe words aren’t what we need,” she said shyly leading him to the bed.”Maybe they aren’t what we need right now at all, Mr. Queen.” 


	2. Well Made/Half Assed Plans (Rainy Zurich by the Fray)

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Felicity and Oliver's first date doesn't go quite as planned.

Felicity Smoak? Hi, I’m Oliver Queen.”  Oliver said as Felicity opened the door to her townhouse.

“Of course,” she replied. “I know who you are. You’re Mr. Queen,” she said wrapping her arms around him, kissing him softly on the lips.

“Huh, I don’t think the first date kiss is supposed to come before the date is over.” Oliver said pressing his face against the sweet spot in her neck. “Not that I particularly mind. It’s just protocol.”

“When have we ever been about protocol, Mr. I Wear Leather Pants at Night and I’m Not a Stripper?” Felicity said cheekly.

Oliver bit her neck gently and said “Oh, oh, Ms. Smoak, you are going to _pay_ for that one. My retribution will be swift and unexpected.”

“Right,” Felicity replied and pointed to herself, “Genius who runs a good sixty percent of your life. Don’t get your hopes up.”

Oliver helped her into her long sweater and she locked the door behind her. “So what’s the plan, my man?” Felicity asked in a sing-song voice.

“I thought since you put a 250 dollar cap on this date that first, we’d have a lovely walk around your neighborhood and pretend to be normal people, then have a picnic in the park that’s around the corner.“

“Oh my god! That’s a perfectly normal date!” Felicity fake yelled. “From Oliver “I can buy your mother Queen”? From Oliver “I’m the Arrow and I refer to myself in the third person” Queen. From –“

“I get the point, Felicity, you are very proud of me for being normal for two seconds. The sarcasm is not appreciated.” He said with his _God, dealing with Thea and/or Felicity is so exhausting_ face and sigh, _that_ _sigh_ that seemed so put out to have to use his entire body just to lift his chest.

Oliver took her arm and they began their perfectly normal, average walk around Felicity’s neighborhood. It was nice for Oliver seeing people not committing crime, just…living. 

He was so entranced with the normalness of it all he didn’t notice the storm clouds moving in, and honestly Felicity was so entranced with Oliver, she didn’t notice either.

So when the skies opened up and rain poured down on them, they looked up and then and each other.

“I feel like this is a metaphor for our lives,” Felicity said. “Well made slash half ass plans ruined by things we totally should see coming.”

“You know what? Nothing is ruining this first date. I am here with the woman I love who loves me.” Oliver shouted, looking up into the sky water rushing down his face. “I could have not found you. I never saw you coming, Felicity. I never knew you where what I needed and I would have looked and looked and always known something was missing, but I found you.”

“Dance with me, my Felicity. Dance with me in this downpour that is our lives. Because that’s what our lives are.” Oliver said, over the rain. ”Endless rain and only a few moments of sunshine, but we’ll keep each other warm through it all. We’ll make it through and someday, we’ll build a life together even better than the one we have now.” He finished, breathless from his heart pouring out of his soul.

Felicity looked at him, no words to be found. She put her arms around her and they danced like fools in the middle of a downpour of rain and love. 


	3. The First (and Last) Dance - (Famous Love by Ryan Star)

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Oliver tries to figure out how he and Felicity got where they are...

It’s when they’re dancing he says it. “You caught me in my lies and I thought it was such a crime to love you. “ He has a firm grip on her hand as they move around the room, so no matter what she believes about _that_ nonsense, she can’t let go yet. “I thought you were this beautiful star that I was cutting, that I was scarring,” he said, tracing the tiny scar on her shoulder above her strapless dress.

“I will have you know that I am very proud of that scar,” she replied. “I save someone’s life with that scar.”

“I know,” he whispers. “You tell me every time I get maudlin over your scars, Felicity,” he says quietly, reverently, like her voice is beautiful to him, which it _is._

“Honestly, Queen, I’m just with you for your excellent wine collection, my mind and my heart are just lost to it“ she replies teasingly.

“Liar.” He won’t allow this simple justification in this moment, especially since she’s been scarred so many times since then. “This is who we are, this is where we were always going to end up, silly girl.”

“Excuse me?” She fires back. “Who was the one who came into my department with a laptop and bullet holes and expected me to believe his coffee shop was in a bad neighborhood?”

“You could have, you know,” he says in a whisper. “Just pretended to believe it like everyone else in my life, that I was just some trust fund baby who had bad luck and no sense. You didn’t have to cock your head in that beautiful way and call me out on my bullshit. I blame you, for not letting it go, Felicity Smoak. You and your hatred of mysteries.”

“My fault for where we are?” She looked him full in the eye. “You do believe highly of me and my body language apparently.”

“And your stubbornness. I thought I could just kiss you once. That would be enough for me, your taste in my mouth one time,“ he said, laying his lips on hers. “But I needed it one more time, that taste. And then again. And again and so many times after that.”

“I thought I could hold you in my arms for just one dance, have your hands in mine, your skin against my skin just one time, but I was a fool. You’re addictive.” he reiterated his point, not hammering but gracefully laying the truth home at her feet as he swung her around the floor gently kissing her neck, behind her ear, her cheek.

“That’s why I’m the brains of this operation, _silly man.”_ She responded to his intimate implication that what they had would never end, never be enough. Their love was infamous now, the Cinderella story of Starling City, but no one ever really understood the bedrock of what they were truly built on, blood and bone, brokenness and damage, trauma and grace, being lost and being found, finally coming together to make something good and whole and pure. For such a long time he thought he would tear her heart to pieces and it never _ever_ occurred to him that she would make his heart whole.

“Just one more kiss,” he repeated, dipping his mouth to hers, “Just one more dance,” he said swinging her around the elegantly draped ballroom, everyone’s eyes on them.

“Just one more diamond,” he said touching the rings he had put on her hands only hours before. “Just one more everything for the rest of our lives, Felicity Smoak.”

“Felicity Smoak-Queen,” she said, laying her head against her chest listening to his heartbeat. “I’m finally your queen to love now.”

“Just one more time, one more time,” he said gently kissing the top of her head. “…forever.”


	4. Thing Is? Sometimes They Lose.  - (Syndicate by The Fray)

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Being a part of a team of heroes is amazing and fulfulling, but it has its costs and they have to be paid.

The thing about what they do is sometimes they lose. Felicity’s learned that over the years. She’s also learned that losing has a toll, not unexpected, but one that couldn’t be prepared for. All of them have undiagnosed PTSD, (well, Digg’s may be diagnosed, he’s never said). It sneaks up on them when they’re defenseless, when they’re tired, when they’re unguarded. The dreams are the worst of it.

Felicity used to have normal nightmares, falling, showing up to work naked. Now? It’s almost a betrayal what her subconscious comes up with to torment her. The old Foundry falling around her, watching the death count of the Undertaking rise and rise. And if hers are bad, Oliver’s are literally unspeakable. There are nights where all she can do for him is hold him, bend herself around him, cover him with her body so that the night doesn’t break him. And he does the same for her.

There are times he dreams he’s still on Lian Yu, only he knows that everything he loves now is halfway around the world, his city, his friends, Felicity, his mission, the new life he built for himself becoming Oliver instead of Ollie, _everything_ and he’s trapped in a hell that has nothing new to teach him, only tortures he barely survived the first time around. On those nights, when he finally wakes up, he can’t let go of Felicity until the morning light of the dawn burns away the belief that he’s still trapped in that island purgatory and his brain will finally let him believe that he is home where he if not safe, loved beyond compare.

Felicity’s worst dreams are insidious. She’ll be inside of the Foundry coordinating her team for hours before suddenly she hears them die one by one begging her for help, for anything and she freezes up like the liability her insecurities make her believe that she is. She’ll wake up screaming for Digg and Sara, but most of all, Oliver, her Arrow, her hero she couldn’t save in her uselessness. She’ll wake up shaking, being shook by Oliver trying to break her out of the cycle of watching them die over and over again.

Those nights, all he does is whisper “Close your eyes and listen to my heart beat. I’m alive and you, Felicity Smoak, keep me that way every single night.” She’ll lay across his chest and listen to his heart thumping against her ear and with each subtle beat she’ll realize she hasn’t lost everything that matters to her, that her friends, her _family_ are safe and warm in their beds.

Strangely enough, those fears, those tortures, those midnight miseries bring them closer together. There are nights neither one of them can sleep where they just whisper to each other, about their love and how it sustains them. About how they can’t forget what they are fighting for, about the better world they are making for the people around them. They talk to each other in the dark about how lucky they feel that they found one another, that they were brave enough to hold on to each other for all that they were worth.

And on the good nights? The ones where they sleep through the night dreamless or better yet, dreaming of each other the first thing that arises in their minds before they are full awake is the warm feeling being held tight, cherished and warm. Knowing that they love and are loved and nothing can take that weighty feeling of _rightness_ away from them, not even their own minds. They have each other, an answer to a question they didn’t even know they asked.  


End file.
